I remember the ducklings, tiny balls of creamy cotton wool floating on the water. I felt so happy and carefree, seeing beauty in everything around me. The sun shining on my face, the brood of fluff balls and the conversation as we talked about our children's future, bringing Elayah to the hotel and getting all dolled up for her 16th, laughing as we imagined her joy at room service and the beauty of the ritzy hotel. It was all a facade, looking back it was those movie scenes where the parent takes their kid to the carnival, buys them every treat and goes on every ride only to leave them there at the grounds and to leave their life forever. A lonely child holding her half eaten fairy floss and the prize he won her at the games, calling Daddy, as people rush past with their own families.
Do people think the last memory will be something to cherish... because months later when my daughter points out those small ducks, in the same pond, no longer fluffy, but she sees the beauty and you remember those moments, you remember those same ducklings, you remember the joy only this time it is contrasted with the emptiness, your heart breaks all over again and the tears sting. What lies, you feel stupid, all along he knew none of it was real, he knew in the weeks to come he would find another and continue to pretend and when it all came out he would leave, well I guess he was never really here was he.
